A friend of mine was getting ready for an extended vacation (which, in this case, is not a euphemism for a trip to the funny farm, as it usually is around my house; no, my friend was actually going on a real vacation, to Florida), and she joked with me:
I am almost packed. :) Well, except for actually packing it... but, you know, I have it all figured out. You know what this like, don't you?
Yes. Yes, I do. And I wish it were just limited to my packing (OK, fine, my overpacking) issues. Unfortunately, it pretty much describes every endeavor I attempt to undertake.
I am almost finished with my blog post. Well, except for actually writing it... but, you know, I have what I want to say all figured out.
And this is why my blogs are still empty.
I almost have 20 pounds lost! Well, except for actually losing it... but, you know, I have the diet and exercise plan all figured out.
And, meanwhile, nothing really changes. Except, now I have thirty pounds to lose, instead of just (just?!) twenty.
I am almost debt free! Well, except for actually paying off my debt... but, you know, I have the payment plan all figured out.
Seriously, we're going to start on that. Soon. Right after we pay for the expenses for our oldest son's upcoming wedding. And my daughter's college tuition. And my youngest son's first car. And a trip home to see my family. And maybe an "extended vacation," if you know what I mean.
I almost have my spiritual life squared away. Well, except for actually spending daily time in prayer, studying God's Word, putting Him first in all I do, and fellowshipping with like-minded believers... but, you know, I have a library filled with study guides and devotional books and commentaries and Bibles in every version, and I know a group of godly women who meet weekly for fellowship and, really, I plan on going... one of these days; so I have the plan to live a holier life figured out.
And then I wonder why I am experiencing a crisis of faith, and why God seems far away, and why I find it easier to do things that merely please me or please others (with the hope that they will like me) instead of doing the things that please God.
Yep, I really have things " all figured out," don't I?
Yep, I really have things " all figured out," don't I?
3 comments:
Whoa. This is me. I'm not sure I'm ready to face that this is what I do. But oh, I do this.
Ditto! Oh. My. Heavens!! And now I’m just figuring that out… thanks to your blog post. You really know how to bring these things to clarity. I know it is for you, but many thanks, from me! :0}
Beautifully written and oh, so true not just for you, but for many of us as well! Love you, sis!!
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